Entry tags:

huh?, tlk

Therious=Facts
Nothing Christmassy at all about this entry unless you consider it as a gift of entertainment to the TLK fandom.



And now, having absolutely nothing better to do, I shall retell the tale of a noble soul who set out to tell all the residents of DeviantART depicting Vitani (a minor character in the sequel to The Lion King) and Kopa (a character who exists only in a series of books based on TLK) as sweethearts is not right.

In his own words: "nothings changing my mind. vitani is scars daughter and kopaxvitani is i-n-s-c-e-s-t inscest."

To protect this person's identity, I will be referring to him as "Inscest" throughout this rant.

This all started when someone posted something on a TLK messageboard asking whether there was any proof about Vitani being Scar's daughter or not. The reason she asked was because of Inscest, who had posted a Journal entry on DevART saying that there was no way Vitani couldn't be Scar's daughter.

He proves this with a copy+pasted snippet on lions from the ever-accurate Wikipedia and a pretty ambiguous theory supporting his position, plus a misquoted line from Simba's Pride ("It was Scar's dying wish that you be his heir" -- Zira never said anything like this in the movie). I didn't have much interest in this guy until he posted a one-word comment ("incest") on one of my animations, which features Tanabi and Vitani together. The thing is, there's nothing in the animation or the description to directly suggest that the two of them are mates, and though the mood may seem somewhat romantic, the ending is pretty unromantic.

So, my curiosity piqued, I decided to see what Inscest was all about...


...and oh boy.

That Journal entry I mentioned earlier was just the tip of the iceberg. He has also posted a TLK family tree and in the very first line he says, "This is the real family tree and nothings going to change my mind so don't even bother argueing". All of his arguments for why this is the "real" family tree are pure conjecture, and he provides no hard evidence for his most trumpeted idea that Vitani is Scar's daughter. His only words on the subject in the Artist's Comments section are:

"Vitani is Scar's daughter. She was born during Scar's reign as was Kovu. And any lion expert like myself knows[link to his infamous Journal post] read that journal So anyone who thinks Kopa and Vitani is ok you have no right to call yourselves "TLK fans" Who started that stupidness away? I would really like to know!"

Wow -- it's hard to argue with words like that.

After receiving comments from two people, one of whom is asking whether he has any proof that Vitani is Scar's cub, the other of whom is expressing her irriration of having her art linked to in the Artist's Comments with no credit given (I thought this was overacting a bit, but still...), a third person jumps in who says that she agrees with Inscest. His response:

"compared to the idiots on my journal, damn straight i appreciate your ideas's. Your weome for the family tree that fits your ieas perfectly."

A expert of lions he may be, but not an expert of spelling and grammar.

---

Inscest has also made a YouTube video of his One True TLK Family Tree (even pointing it out at the end of the video ["This is the real family tree"]). Even though there are pictures of ALL the characters (even the semi-canon ones like Ahadi, Mheetu, Mohatu, etc.) done by Disney, Inscest decided to use pictures that fans had drawn in his video, not asking the artists' permission first or giving any of the individual artists credit.

So what, you might say. There are hundreds of YouTube videos like that out there with dozens more popping up weekly, why bring up this one? I'll tell you why: at the end of the Journal entry I mentioned earlier (AND in several previous entries), Inscest lists several YouTube videos of this type, informing readers "They have youtube vids with your art! No permission from you!"

And as if that weren't stomach-turningly hypocritical enough, Inscest originally mentioned in the description of his One True TLK Family Tree that anyone who wanted to show his video on their site had to pay him $5, and when someone pointed out how wrong this was, he deleted that text and acted as if it had never been there ("when'd i saw that?", "who said that?").

But wait -- there's more! Inscest has also taken it upon himself to inform all the poor misguided souls drawing their own versions of TLK family trees how woefully mistaken they are, even though they are no more and no less valid than his own. In trees with fan-created characters that specifically state that those characters aren't official, he will object that "most of the charaers don't exist", and in trees that clearly state that they are "alternate universe" trees with no bearing whatsoever on the "real" one, he declares, "I know its you universe but Kovu isn't Scars son mufasa and sarabi only had simba. Scar and Srabi never mated. Nala's father isn't scar abd kiara has no cubs."

He also resorts to witty remarks such as "half this aint even true! Even if its a fanfic" and "all wrong". And to the rare individuals whose trees meet his strict requirements, he leaves kind-hearted comments like: "wow someone who acually got it right! The rest of these idiots keep saying Mohatu had Ahadi and Zira and Scar only had Nuka. Scar is nala's dad and Make up all these other stupid characters and don't stick with the story." (Another of his unsubtantiated yet adament claims is that Mohatu has has HAS to be Uru's [not Ahadi's] father because Mohatu has a dark coat and Uru must have one too if she is Scar's mother. However, Uru's colors are never officially described, and Ahadi could easily have been carrying a recessive gene for a dark coat. There's no definite proof either way, but saying that people who think that Ahadi is Mohatu's son are idiots is just, well...stupid.)

I'm pretty sure that Inscest did a search for "TLK family tree" on DevART and commented on every "inaccurate" one he could find...and coming back to the beginning of this rant, I'm sure that he did something similar to locate as many pictures of Kopa (or Tanabi, also a version of Simba's son) and Vitani in love (or their offspring) as he could and inform the artists that they were being disgusting by drawing something like that. Often the one-word "incest" comment is enough to get his point across, but he often puts a lot of love and care into his comments:

"Incest!!!" (three exclamation points AND the first letter is capitalized!)

"You know Kopa and Vitani are cousins? Scar is her father and Simba is his so yeah...incest"

"They can't have cubs! There relatives!" (Huh? Where relatives?)

"Impossible there cousins!!!" (WHERE cousins??)

"nope. It would be a bad case of incest. that's what it would be!" (responding to a comment saying that Kopa and Vitani should have been in SP)

"She lost her cousin and loved him so much! I hate you Zira!" (neither the picture or the text directly implies that Kopa and Vitani were lovers, but he's not about to lose this opportunity to allude to his "KopaxVitani is incest" mantra)

"inscest" (Just a reminder -- that's not his real name)

"You do know this is incest right? Other than that nice pic. I HATE kiara!!!!"(He almost made this a neutral comment with that positive remark (something seldom heard from him), but that last negative sentence drives it back down.)

---

As you might imagine, this persistant haranguing has gotten a few people a little irritated with Inscest, even the people who think Vitani IS Scar's daughter. You'd think such a bold, outspoken person would have a solid argument and sufficient evidence to back up his claims, but Inscest refuses to fit that profile. He has one lone troll supporter who counters with witty retorts such as "Ugh seriously where do they come from?? they have major problems, don't listen to them they are full of soot and poo."

Here are just a few of his more interesting statements from his Journal entry, his One True Family Tree and his OTFT video:

(From the Journal entry) "Everyone says Kopa and Vitani isn't incest. Well it is I mean there cousins! Scar is her father and Simba is his. Thats why They changed Kopa into a female(Kiara)"

This is what MIGHT have happened in an alternate universe. In THIS universe, however, Kopa never appeared in TLK; the official name of the cub at the end is "Fluffy". And incest WAS a problem that Disney ran into during the writing of SP, but this was because Kovu was originally meant to be Scar's son, making him and Kiara second cousins.

***

"just because they were born in the same litter doesn't mean they have the same father. Kovu's father was a rouge and Vitani was Scar. It makes sense because remeber the scene Scar versus Simba? ALL the lionesses attacked the hyenas. Zira obviously wasn't there. She was out hunting got raped and came back."

So instead of Kovu and Vitani merely having the same father, Scar does the wild thing with Zira shortly before Simba arrives, Zira goes off hunting and gets knocked up by a rogue lion (who, according to Inscest, was Chumvi from TLK:6NA trying to make it look like Zira was cheating on Scar for some reason) so each of her similarly aged cubs has a different father. Occam's Razor, Schmoccam's Razor.
And Kovu's father was a cosmetic powder? THAT certainly explains...well, nothing.

***

"Since disney says [Kovu's] father is a lion from the lion king universe it either has to Be Scar or Chumvi."

Inscest never says where he got this information. Since his entire philosophy seems to be "If a character didn't appear in an 'official' TLK book, it doesn't exist", I'd think he would try harder to prove this statement.

***

(in response to someone saying that no one can know for sure if his theory about Vitani is true) "it not a therie. more of a fact."

***

[I swear I am not making the following exchange up]
Commenter (in response to Inscest calling his "theories" facts): THEY ARE NOT FACTS. HOW DENSE ARE YOU?!
Inscest: pretty dense my friend. pretty dense.

Wow. Now that's what I call honesty.

***

"well if everyone has their own therioes there's no reason for you to get upset with my thereis wich are facts. And if you don't have proof they are incestous animals then shut it! The lion king vreators didn't use much lion behavior. if you were smart you'd know that. [...] but i gues your not smart"

***

(After a lengthy paragraph about why his theories are facts) Question: If Scar mated with Uru would the cubs be his brothers and sisters or his children?

Welcome to Non-Sequitir Theatre.

***

(responding to a comment pointing out some of his errors) "actually your wrong. Ni is the only lion who could have fatheredd Nala and it wouldn't be incest. Vitani's father is Scar. Where else would she have have gotten her dark eye shades from. Chumvi and Zira did mate because Chumvi was the only dark furred male who could have fathered him. Nala's eyes are blue in the first and second movie. i've read the books and Ni is old enough to father her since he is about Kovu's age one month older or younger."

This one's a doozy. The first statement is dead wrong; there are three golden, Mufasa-aged lions in a picture book called "Simba Wants to Play", a scruffy lion named King Joe in a TLK comic, and two older lions named Leo and Mega in TLK:6NA. Secondly, if we're going by real lion ages, Ni is much too young to be Nala's father. When he meets Nala, he says that he has just been kicked out of his pride, and he obviously hasn't started a pride of his own yet. Male lions leave their prides when they are 2-3 years old, are nomadic for another 2-3 years, and are able to breed when they are 5 years old. That, combined with the amount of time Sarafina was pregnant with Nala (3 months) and Nala's age at the time she meets Ni (at a guess, 7-10 months) makes him just a leeeeeeeeeeeetle bit young to be Nala's daddy.

As for the Chumvi being Kovu's father...it might be feasible if it weren't for the statement that comes right before it: "Vitani's father is Scar. Where else would she have have gotten her dark eye shades from." Kovu has "dark eye shades" too, but the areas around Chumvi's eyes are light, not dark. Since Kovu's father obviously isn't Scar, where did HIS dark eye shades come from (and we can't bring the "recessive genes" angle into this argument, since Inscest refuses to consider it except when it supports his theory)?

And the wording of the last comment is so baffling that it made me wonder when time travel became part of the TLK universe, but what Inscest is apparently trying to say is that when Ni meets Nala he is as old as Kovu is at the end of SP, meaning that he is old enough to have cubs. That's still an incredibly unreasonable line of reasoning, since Kovu and Kiara never (officially) have any cubs (as Inscest loves to point out on various family trees).

***

"WTF are you talkiin about? I'm in preshcool bitch lol!"

Even though his profile says that he is 28, I find myself inclined to believe this statement.

***

(DevART comment) "Vitani and Kovu are different ages right? They were both born during scar's reign and there's proof of this. When Zira says Kovu was the LAST born BEFORE Simba exiled them. That means Vitani is older."

(another comment, sometime later)"Since Kovu and Vitani are the same age Scar would have killed Vitani if she wasn't his. My theiries will never be shut down."


(DevART comment)"Nala's are are green and blue. It wasn't an accident."

(YouTube comment, sometime later) "Nala's eyes are gray-blue in the first movie and totally blue second movie. it wasn't an error."

Self-contradition. It's what's for dinner. (Gray-blue, you say?)
Also, he uses a paragraph about the mating habits of real lions to back up his claims about Vitani's parentage, then afterwards mentions that "The lion king vreators didn't use much [real] lion behavior", then says "Acually they were trying make Both TLK's realsitic."

***

(YouTube comment, replying to a comment that said that by his logic, Nala must be Vitani's mother because they look so much alike) "nala and Scar have Vitani? That would work for me. At least it would block Vitani off from going with Kopa."

Sometime after reading this, I started theorizing* that perhaps Inscest has some strange psychological issue that makes him go to any lengths to make sure that there is no way these two fictional characters can be in a relationship without the problem of incest, and claim his theories behind this to be fact, as flimsy and full of holes as they may be.
***

"Therious=Facts"

I have no words.**

---

And now for the ultimate irony -- while Inscest goes around telling people that drawing Kopa and Vitani is incestuous since according to him they are cousins (second cousins, actually), he refuses to acknowledge this little tidbit:

"On June 14, 2004, the creators of The Lion King gathered in Glendale, CA, for a Tenth Anniversary Panel discussion, where Brian Tiemann asked directors Rob Minkoff and Roger Allers point-blank the answer to the foregoing question. Minkoff's immediate response was "Roger [Allers]"; but after further discussion, both directors acknowledged that Nala's father, while still not known definitively, was either Scar or Mufasa." -- from TLKFAA

This is the closest thing to an official verdict on who Nala's father is, which would make her and Simba either cousins (if it is Scar) or half-siblings (if it is Mufasa). When someone called Inscest out on this, he refuses to acknowledge the producers' words and flat-out denies them, saying "how d o you know the producers made this themselves. this is just from the TLK archive. Anyone could have typed this up. Neither Scar or Mufasa are Nala's parents!" When he was presented with evidence for the veracity of those words (something which he seldom [if ever] does), he replied, "this is about kopa and vitani=incest not simba and nala. and they still say its just theries." When he confessed to being "pretty dense", he wasn't kidding.

And lastly, here's the entire comment exchange which inspired the uninspired pseudonym for this fellow:

Inscest: nothings changing my mind. vitani is scars daughter and kopaxvitani is i-n-s-c-e-s-t inscest.
Commenter 1: You spelled incest wrong...
Inscest: and you did just now. Correct yo own spelling first.
Commenter 1: .. No, I didn't. Check the dictionary. Check spell check. Either one will tell you I spelled it correctly.
Inscest: awsome cause IDC. isn't that great?
Commenter 2: lmao you're stupid. it's incest.
Inscest: u just spelled it the same way retard.
Commenter 2: find a dictionary, idiot. INCEST. NOT INSCEST.
Inscest: do you see an s in the title between the first two letters?
Commenter 2: e_e
Inscest: *sigh* go away
[Inscest apparently mistakenly thought Commenter 2 was talking about the title of his entry (which DID spell "incest" correctly) and not the first comment in this list]


*actually, this not a therie. more of a fact.
**Aside from "Why tho therious?"